Master’s Dinner Toasts

Below you will find a selection of Toasts to Sherlock Holmes and Company. Many were written by members of the NMSOBC.

Master’s Dinner Toasts for 2016:

Toast to the Master, Sherlock Holmes By Jan Cassetta

We gather this evening to celebrate the birthday of a man who never lived and thus can never die-to quote Vincent Starrett from his famous poem, “it is always 1895.”

But why has Sherlock Holmes continued to appeal to subsequent generations since the Victorian era? He is of course a brilliant detective, a warrior in the eternal battle between good and evil.

But he is also a man of great contradictions.

He is the most cerebral of men and yet subject to uncontrollable mood swings that range from manic activity to the depths of languor and depression from which he seeks solace in the forlorn strains of his Stradivarius and in the oblivion of the 7% solution.

H stands for lawfulness but not necessarily the letter of the law. After all he breaks into houses with impunity if he deems it necessary and lets a known thief go because it is the season of forgiveness while he allows the innocent man to languish in jail.

He seems to have no interest in the fair sex but he secretly keeps a photograph of The Woman in his desk.

He is an isolated man who does not seem to crave human contact and yet he enjoys a deep and lasting relationship with one true friend.

In short he is an enigma, a continuing puzzle that intrigues each generation. Perhaps the greatest mystery of all is Sherlock Holmes himself.

So join me in a toast to a man who lives forever in the realm of imagination. To the eternally fascinating Sherlock Holmes.

To the Master!

Toast To The Trusted Associate By Maria Vaughan

Originally Conan Doyle wanted to name Sherlock’s trusted associate Ormond Sacker.

I am so glad that he changed his mind. Sacker rhymes with knacker, which in British slang means to kill or to tire or exhaust.

The temptation might be to refer to Mr. Sacker as “Sacker the Knacker” or “Sacker the Knackered”.

Those just wouldn’t do for such a loyal and noble friend, now would it?

Let us propose a toast to our favorite chronicler.

To the Trusted Associate, Dr. John Watson

A Toast to Queen Elizabeth By Jim Cassetta

To Queen Elizabeth of 16 realms including the UK, Canada, Australia and New Zealand.

As leader of the Commonwealth you are head of state for 1 quarter of the world population.

For us in this room you have been known as “The Queen” for most, and for some, all of our lives.

In your coronation the drag from your robes made it difficult for you to walk the aisle of Westminster Abby. You bade the Archbishop of Canterbury “get me started.” He did so have been moving forward ever since.

In September of the past year you became the longest reigning British monarch.

With great strength and grace you have overseen the transition from empire to commonwealth and remain head of state well into the 21st century.

May god bless you in your continued reign!

Long Live the Queen.

Toast to Maggie Oakshott By Champ Vaughan

Let us visit Brixton Road to pay our respects

to the sister of James Ryder.

If it hadn’t been for Maggie, the one who raised the goose,

we’d all be in some other club or just out running loose.

Here’s to Maggie Oakshott.

Toast To Dr. John Watson By NMSOBC member- Unknown

Please raise your glasses to the esteemed Dr. John Watson,

To Sherlock Holmes he was many things:

Companion, Confidant, Comrade, and Chronicler.

In “The Greek Interpreter”, Mycroft remarked to Watson; I hear of Sherlock everywhere since you became his chronicler!

We too would morn the loss of Sherlock Holmes adventures were it not for Watson’s gift of storytelling.

Watson serves as a foil to Holmes: the ordinary man against the brilliant emotionally-detached analytical mind that Holmes is: but Watson was still more, the one person Holmes could depend on-one who would come when Holmes needed him, the one soul Holmes could call friend.

Watson was indeed Holmes friend-I would consider myself lucky to have such a true and loyal friend.

Holmes said it best: Good old Watson! You are the one fixed point in a changing age.

It doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface.


Master’s Dinner Toasts for 2014:

Toast to Sherlock Holmes By Michael Poe

Nether a Lions mane
Or a blackmailers gain
Will keep Holmes from sleuthing.

Walking in a London fog
Or hiking around a dartmoor bog
Can keep Holmes from sleuthing

Whether in an opium den
Or deciphering dancing men
There will be Holmes a-sleuthing.

A stone in a goose,
Crooks on the loose!
Be glad that Holmes is a sleuthing.

With Watson’s stories highly infective,
To the world’s first consulting detective!

Toast to the Trusted Associate, Dr John Watson By Don Wissusick

Dr. John Watson will always be, ” The Trusted Associate,”
But for us here tonight, Watson is much more.
Good old Watson, you truly are the one fixed point in a changing age.
Someone we would be honored to have as our dinner companion;
But only on an evening when the Portland fog swirls past our,
Window panes, with all our ears attuned to the shout,
“The game is afoot.”
Only then, for those things our hearts believe are true,
Will it be an evening, where it is always eighteen-ninety-two.
To Watson

A Toast to King Edward VII By John Schilke

To Albert Edward, eldest son of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha, who served the second longest time as Prince of Wales and (2011) longest-serving Heir Apparent;

Who, in 1860, made the first visit to North America by an heir to the English throne, stayed for three days with President Buchanan at the White House, and paid respects at the tomb of George Washington at Mount Vernon;

Who knighted Arthur Conan Doyle in 1902 (but not for the Sherlock Holmes stories).

Ladies & Gentlemen, let us raise our glass to H. I. H. Edward VII of Great Britain, Northern Ireland, and Possessions beyond the Seas, and Emperor of All India:

To King Edward!

A Toast To Queen Victoria By Robert Argyll

Ladies and Gentleman please rise as I offer a toast to our Grand Sovereign Queen Victoria.

Much beloved by her people she has grace and beauty to our great land.

She was given the affectionate title The Grand Mother of Europe. For she watched over her people as a mother watches over her children.

To her majesty Victoria, by the Grace of God of The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland, Queen defender of the faith

Empress of India

The Queen!

Toast to Queen Elizabeth II By Champ Vaughan

Born in London on April 21 1926,
Great-great granddaughter of Queen Victoria,
Daughter of George VI
Who is it? Queen Elizabeth II,
Became the British Monarch on 6 February 1952,
Constitutional Monarch of 16 sovereign nations and head of the 53 member Commonwealth of Nations.
Husband- Prince Philip
Four children – Charles, Anne, Andrew, and Edward
Note: The original spelling Elizabeth was Elisabeth – the “z” spelling became popular after
Elizabeth I became Queen.
Has reigned as the British Monarch for more than 61 years,
Victoria was the reigning British Monarch ( from 20 June 1837 to 22 January 1901 for a total of 63 years, 7 months).
If Elizabeth surpasses Queen Victoria as the longest reigning British Monarch,
she will have to serve until 9 September 2015
To Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II
To the Queen

Toast In praise of the Literary Agent, Arthur Conan Doyle By John Ellis

For Doctor Watson writing was his passion and chronicling the work and wisdom of Mr. Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective, his calling; however he had a problem, his manuscripts of the Holmes’ cases were piling up on his desk unread, destined to be nothing more than a collection of personal scribblings, unless he could get them published and circulated to a much wider audience than one. It became imperative to find some way to reach the populace, less Sherlock Holmes’s wisdom and knowledge be lost to the ages.

He needed the help of someone who understood the business of periodical and book publishing and distribution. He really wanted and needed a manager of his finances, business and literary affairs so he could focus on his life mission of writing and chronicling the brilliance of Sherlock Holmes.

We are here tonight because Doctor Watson found such a man in a literary agent, who by his contacts and hard work found a way to get the narratives of Sherlock Holmes published and disseminated not only throughout the Empire but also in multiple linguistic translations to a worldwide audiences.

So please stand and lift your glasses high in honor of the literary agent without whose efforts the wisdom and genius of the Master would never have been entrusted to us and surely would have been lost forever;

Please join me in honoring Mr. Arthur Conan Doyle- literary Agent

Hip – Hip – Hooray!


Toast to Irene Adler By Fritz Camp

I rise to propose a toast to Irene Adler, born in New Jersey, 1858.
Contralto opera singer of La Scala in Milan, Italy,
Primadona at the Imperial Opera House of Warsaw,
Poland’s capital city.
Actress often dressed in men’s clothes,
Says Sherlock Holmes,” What a woman-oh what a woman”,
Says Sherlock Holmes, “The voice of an angel. a lovely thing, the face a man might die for,
The only woman to ever outwit me at my game”.
Accorded the honorable title of ” The Woman”.
I give you Irene Adler!

All the above is true, that’s why I married her. – Godfrey Norton


Toast to Poor John Horner By Terri Zensen

Horner accused

Greedy James Ryder interferes

Innocent Horner readily blamed

Plumber John nervously waits in the Assizes

Oh what will Holmes Do next!